From time to time I think how cool it would be to live in Jesus’ time. Seeing Emanuel, God with us, walking plant earth. All the miracles, all the healings, all the sermons, the supernatural, hearing God’s own voice confirming his son. I mean, how cool would that be! And then I am reminded of Jesus’ words, telling his disciples that it is good that he is leaving. Obviously they liked his presence as well and didn’t want it to end. Yet for some reason the Holy Spirit would be a much better choice for the church. At least that is, what Jesus told them. But why? One answer He gives himself. Before he is beginning to talk about the sending of the Holy Spirit in John 14 starting in verse 16 he mentions that his followers will do his works and even greater ones (John 14:12). And another is given by Peter on Pentecost. He quotes a famous verse from the Old Testament prophet Joel (Joel 2:28) saying that the Spirit of God will be poured out on all flesh. With the emphasis on “all”. Bottom-line is that everybody can have the Holy Spirit and He will empower us to do greater works than Jesus. But that also means that we can and should always live in the presence of God.
I am a sinner. No big surprise here. I lie, I cheat, I get mad at people, I am envious, I am jealous, I am lazy, and so on. In one way or the other I have committed all seven deadly sins at least once in my life. Definitely when you take Jesus’ very strict definition where hating your brother is equal to murder (Matthew 5). And yet from time to time God manages to shine through me. And that is only possible because He bore my sins and took the punishment that was waiting for me. He restored the broken relationship with God and in Jesus I am totally free. And my head knows that. But my heart is not always convinced. So my reaction is far too often the original reaction of Adam and Eve. I hide from God. Even though God hoped for a different reaction from His creation I understand why the first humans acted that way. Death had been promised to them. So maybe hiding long enough can trick God or something, who knows? But what is my promise? In John 10:10 Jesus promises to bring life. My sins are forgiven, my relationship with God is restored, I am adopted into His family, and He calls me his son. So shouldn’t I react differently? I sometimes wonder if God is looking at me, shaking His head, saying: “Why are you running again? Don’t you remember that all the bad stuff is off the table and only my love is waiting for you?”
Recently a friend of mine introduced me to a little booklet called “The Practice of the Presence of God”. Technically it is not even a book for it is just a collection of letters written by a monk in the 17thcentury. He was born as Nicolas Herman in Lorraine at that time part of the Holy Roman Empire of German nations and fought in the Thirty Years’ War where he was injured and left with a paralyzed leg. Some time after leaving the army he became a monk in a monastery in Paris under the name of Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection. There he was in charge of the kitchen and later also of repairing the sandals of his fellow monks. All his life he was not a high ranking member of his convent, but he was known to all as being “rough in appearance but gentle in grace”. That was the case because he was constantly seeking the presence of God. So much so, that to him “times of prayer were not different from other times. He retired to pray according to the directions of his superior, but he did not need such retirement nor ask for it because his greatest business did not divert him from God.”
When I read this I was stunned. That is exactly what I am looking for. Not that I don’t want to set times where it’s all about the presence of God. I love those all too rare moments. But I don’t like being so focused on one thing that I loose sense of the fact that God is near me. So how did he do it? What was his method? Simply put, he laid all his “outward things” into God’s hands asking to be with him in all he did. Every time he started a new task he would repeat that prayer. And “as he proceeded in his work, he continued his familiar conversation with his Maker, imploring His grace, and offering to Him all his actions.” And when he was done and all was well, he thanked God for the grace of accomplishing his task. So far so good. But what happened, when he did something wrong, when he sinned? Did he follow the path of Adam, which I am so accustomed to? On the contrary. He went straight back to God, apologizing, saying: “I am used to do so. I shall never do otherwise if I am left to myself.” In my words he is saying: “See, God, that happens when I do thinks on my own.”
That was a real revelation for me. Yes, I know, that Jesus took all my sins to the cross. I know, He bore my punishment. I know, He made it possible for me to become a son of God. I know that all, but every so often I don’t believe. Then I hide. And when God comes into the garden of my life calling my name, I tell him, that I can’t come out for I am naked and full of sin. And then God just asks me: “Who told you that you are naked? For you are not. Not anymore. Because my Son became sinful and naked on your behalf and you are dressed in wonderful royal ropes. Come out and spend time with me, your Father.” The time of hiding is over. It is time to be with God. Always.
And when I sin now, I go back to my Heavenly Father saying: “See, what happens when I am on my own?” And every time I hear his gentle voice answering: “Yes, I know. So next time, let’s do it together.”
